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Last night I learned about: Ghost in the machine

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I hadn't known what the term meant, it basically means the non-tangible 'spirit' of a thing inside a physical embodiment/hardware of a thing, but the two are distinctly separate and the 'spirit' thing can react unpredictably or beyond the bounds of the hardware. I always thought this was true, back from that one theory of knowledge class I took in highschool. I thought the mind-body debate was always compelling: What bodily limits could you exceed with the power of the mind? I've always believed the mind is stronger, but as I've gotten older I also understand the body impacts the mind as well. I think it's definitely something newly aging folk learn (aka. everyone hitting their 30s). For example, I can no longer go without sleeping. It feels terrible. I can no longer eat whatever the hell I want. I can no longer push myself to work harder and longer without need for recovery time. I didn't get super far in ghost of the machine. Maybe philosophical re...
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Today I'm cravvy. I'm fixating on relationships. If I'm doing the right thing. Doubt sits with me. How much of you is okay to exist. How much of you is too much? The warning alarms in my head are so hard to ignore. What did I say about you? Doubt leaves me feeling dread. It makes me anxious and depressed. Specifically in relationships. but also other areas. None of it is that bad. So mebbe make a note. But no fuss?
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Feeelings

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 Today I'm feeling just a little anxious, sad? depressive, tired. I feel suffocated by my own fatigue. It makes me feel claustrophobic and a little panicky.  Maybe I'm bored out o fmy mind? But i'm also tired. I spent the last week freaking out about jojo so it's not improbable that i'm still adjusting back. I go from panic -> high anxiety -> grumpy -> depressive/anxious. My body might jsut be in total withdrawal. Blergh. But being 6 weeks pregnant i think also is adding a level of fatigue. It is so weird to say, I haven't really told people and it feels strange strange strange. I feel like nothing has changed, but like everything is also different.
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