-
testingasdfdas

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Depression lies

-
Yesterday I was explaining to Alex the fear and doubts I have about what we're doing. I feel like I am on this new path and that is great, but when things start to feel more serious, there's this whisper that says to me, that all this is a lie and it's only a matter of time before I fall back into my real self. The one that is afraid, impulsive, and the one that says this isn't enough. This feeling here is supposed to be more it's supposed to be so strong it drives certainty. It's supposed to feel right. It doesn't feel wrong, I can honestly say it feels... okay? It's not a SURGING no or  SURGING yes, which is usually how I feel about things. Instead I feel...neutral. When I can pull back, I can see the situation is...neutral. It's a situation of uncertain times with real challenges up ahead. Possible heartbreak also. I'm very afraid to fully have feelings and I'm afraid of raising the stakes too much, but there is SOME emotional space b...
Read more

Last night I learned about: Ghost in the machine

-
I hadn't known what the term meant, it basically means the non-tangible 'spirit' of a thing inside a physical embodiment/hardware of a thing, but the two are distinctly separate and the 'spirit' thing can react unpredictably or beyond the bounds of the hardware. I always thought this was true, back from that one theory of knowledge class I took in highschool. I thought the mind-body debate was always compelling: What bodily limits could you exceed with the power of the mind? I've always believed the mind is stronger, but as I've gotten older I also understand the body impacts the mind as well. I think it's definitely something newly aging folk learn (aka. everyone hitting their 30s). For example, I can no longer go without sleeping. It feels terrible. I can no longer eat whatever the hell I want. I can no longer push myself to work harder and longer without need for recovery time. I didn't get super far in ghost of the machine. Maybe philosophical re...
Read more