PMDD

-

 So turns out i have PMDD, i don't really know what to think about it besides all my irritability making more sense. Eh.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Last night I learned about: Ghost in the machine

-
I hadn't known what the term meant, it basically means the non-tangible 'spirit' of a thing inside a physical embodiment/hardware of a thing, but the two are distinctly separate and the 'spirit' thing can react unpredictably or beyond the bounds of the hardware. I always thought this was true, back from that one theory of knowledge class I took in highschool. I thought the mind-body debate was always compelling: What bodily limits could you exceed with the power of the mind? I've always believed the mind is stronger, but as I've gotten older I also understand the body impacts the mind as well. I think it's definitely something newly aging folk learn (aka. everyone hitting their 30s). For example, I can no longer go without sleeping. It feels terrible. I can no longer eat whatever the hell I want. I can no longer push myself to work harder and longer without need for recovery time. I didn't get super far in ghost of the machine. Maybe philosophical re...
Read more
-
Applying for a job has been pretty stressful. I really need wins to feel good. I’ve been feeling lost and rejected. I don’t know if it’s cuz I’m not finding matches or what. I’m working hard to keep myself thinking positive though. Proper preparation is helpful. I think i’m starting to get a better idea of where I fit also. My goals keep changing...not drastically. But I have my senior level goals, but I don’t think i’m quite there yet, so maybe it is time for a high mid and really grow into senior by the end of the year cuz now I’m clearer about what that entails.  I really really hope i land somewhere stable liek amazon for a while and just grow. I want to go somewhere safe to grow for a while. I don’t know where though. I worry on some level I’m not good enough for anywhere, but ... I suppose that cannot be true? I can do this for 2 more months. And then I think i should be good.... but also given corona virus, maybe it’ll be a little longer. I want to find a good...
Read more

New Moon Circle #1

-
 What showed up for your during this meditation? - A lot of tightness in my diaphragm. I am not sure what it was about. What were you holding onto? What were you having a hard time processing, digesting, and eliminating from your space? - I think I'm holding onto a lot of tension from the last two days. There's been an increase of responsibility, which is also an opportunity, and I want to prove myself, so there's just a bit of a 'suck it up'/'man up' mode for me while tackling things I'm not comfortable with. What needed to be healed? - I'm not sure yet. But a lot of past relationships came up to explode in roses. People maybe i most want to prove myself to? What will it look like to come from a place of stillness, trust, and knowing this coming month? - It may help me look like less of a headless chicken and more of the leader aura I am trying to cultivate. 
Read more