Neutral processing of design review

 I’m a little stuck on a comment a PM of mine made on  a design. Where I asked whether or not I shoudl use infinite scroll and my PM said, “The user need should come first,” to which i said, “yes, but sometimes how it’s implemented can impact how items show up.”

In that moment I felt defensive. 

Later on, the thought occured to me, maybe he thinks i’m pretentious or not savvy. And i thought ot myself, why do i have to be so combative.

I did speak up with the intention of defending myself, but maybe combative is not the right word. I will be mindful of my mood in the future though. I was definitely feeling my limbic system go off.

And then after my last meeting, doug was saying he would ping sam for what I thought was a kind of unreasonably low cost. I wanted to say “you idiot, he’ll just say no!” 

And I didn’t say it, but i felt frustrated by what had happened. I walked away from my computer to calm down and puzzle out my feelings. I wasn’t upset by what doug had done, but I was stuck on how kevin might bethinking of me after I said what I said.

I still feel ilke there is a stone on my heart.

This past week has felt very high drive hyper focus. I might table my stocks after this. But first i’mg oing tow ater the plants.

I also need to plan some katie games this weekend. I can draw a few memory card things and the songs i think i think everyone can contribute to.

Wat else... oh yeah i def need to do the stocks thing so i know when ot sell tomorow.

Oh right kang is coming tomorrow